My Dearest Ratna,

I take up my pen with a trembling hand, and with a heart so heavy that each word costs me dearly. I know that my letter may be unwelcome, and that you have just cause to hold me in no kindly regard. I ask only that you read it once, and then do with it as you see fit.

First, let me say what I was too proud, or too fearful, to say while there was yet time: I am sorry. For every wound I dealt, whether through carelessness or folly, and for every tenderness I withheld when you most needed it, I humbly beg your pardon. I do not write to excuse myself, nor to ask that you think better of me than I deserve. I have lain awake through many a long night, counting my failures as a miser counts his losses, and I find the sum a bitter one.

Yet I cannot let this parting pass in silence, for it would be a falsehood to pretend that my heart has ceased to hold you dear. I loved you, and I love you still, though I have no right now to say it. You were to me a light in the darkest hours, and there was nothing in you, not the smallest word nor the slightest gesture, that did not carry a meaning for me. Even now I treasure them all, as one keeps the pressed flowers of a vanished summer, fragile and beyond restoring.

That our fortunes could not be joined grieves me more than any words of mine can tell. But I do not reproach you, nor Fate, nor anyone but myself. If you must hate me, then hate me; I shall bear it as my just penance. I release you from every obligation of the heart, and I ask nothing in return but that you walk freely on.

It is my sincerest wish that you may attain every dream you have cherished, and that Heaven may crown your labours with a glory worthy of your spirit. And I beg of you one last thing: be gentle with yourself. You have ever been far harder upon your own heart than it deserves. You are worthy of kindness, of rest, and of all the happiness this world can offer, though I was not the one fated to give it.

Farewell, my dearest. Though we part, a portion of my heart shall remain with you always, and I shall carry your memory with me to the end of my days.

Yours, and nobody else's, RSB